


First Time

by RovingRomy



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-11 10:44:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8976481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RovingRomy/pseuds/RovingRomy
Summary: Keyleth and Vax's first two nights together: after returning from Draconia and before entering Ank'Harel





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was initially going to just be a one chapter smutty fic, but when I rewatched the episode I realized that Vax getting caught sneaking out of Keyleth's room was not their first night together, but their second. So it turned into a two chapter smutty fic.

Keyleth laughs as Vax playfully tackles her to the bed, trying to smother her giggles against his shoulder, mindful of the hour and the other sleeping in the surrounding rooms. Vax chuckles into her ear, the feeling of it giving her goosebumps.

He kisses her cheek and then leans back, gazing down at her with a gentle smile and so much open affection that Keyleth’s breath catches, and she finds she can’t stop herself from leaning up, capturing his lips in joyful kiss that becomes slow and languorous as she moves back down onto the mattress, pulling him with her.

They haven’t really had a chance to kiss like this, she realizes, to just sink into long, lazy kisses that go on and on. The only time they’d had any real chance to have more than one, quick kiss was the night before they fought Umbrasyl, riding on the adrenaline of the coming fight, the fear of impending death. And even then they’d been interrupted by Vex. This is the first time they’ve been able to have anything like this.

Vax’s hand strokes at her hair, cups her cheek as he trails his lips across her jaw and down her neck, stopping to lick and suck at the spot where her neck meets her shoulder. She gasps at the feeling, even as she starts the feel uncertain. She’s never been with anyone like this before, and she’s not sure how far she wants to go. She knows she wants him, can feel the warm pressure spreading low in her stomach as she throbs with want for him between her thighs. And she knows that she want to give that to him. She’s just not sure if she’s read to do that now.

Their lips meet again as her runs his fingers down the skin of her arm, then down further to stroke at her thigh, his fingers just barely creeping under the hem of her nightgown. The feeling of his skin against hers makes Keyleth’s head feel foggy, and she slides into the sensation of feeling. His lips sliding along her throat, his hands stroking her skin, his leg moving between her thighs to press against her. Her hips start to rock of their own volition, and Vax whispers into her ear, “Keyleth”, as he presses her thigh against her more firmly.

The force with which she bucks her hips against him and the sharp gasp that leaves her mouth startle her and she finds herself freezing, suddenly once again unsure.

Vax senses her sudden trepidation and pulls away, studying her face. He brings his hand up to her face, cupping her cheek in a comforting hold. “I don’t want to push you  to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

“I know,” she responds. “And I trust you. I just…”

“How far do you want this to go tonight?” he asks.

“I… I don’t know,” she whispers. “Can you just… kiss me again?”

His smile is gentle as he nods. “Yeah. That I can do.” He presses his lips to hers, soft at first, but growing more intense every second.

Knowing that Vax won’t push her any further than she want to go, Keyleth starts to relax, fully giving herself over to the feelings and sensations of being here with him. She trusts him so much, and she’s overcome with a feeling of tenderness and emotion at that knowledge, that certainty that he would do anything for her, that he’s always take care of her.

She meets his kisses enthusiastically, more comfortable now with things progressing, and she starts to move against his thigh again, reassuring Vax with a small smile when he pulls back and looks down at her, a question in his eyes.

His hand runs over the skin of her thigh, up her hip, and then he carefully runs his fingertips over her, eliciting a quiet moan from her throat.

“Is this okay?” he asks with another gentle, careful stroke.

It feels so good and she’s having a hard time keeping her eyes open, but she meets his gaze, wanting him to know for sure that she’s being honest. “Yes,” she states firmly. And then, “Gods, yes,” when he does it again, her eyes sliding shut. She can practically feel Vax’s smug smirk, even though she can’t see it, and he starts to add more pressure to his touch. At first he doesn’t do much more than run his fingers through her wetness, spreading it over her, but it already has her breathing hard and fast, so when he focuses his attention on her clit, circling his fingers around it before stroking over it, his touch firm and sure, she cries out, her back arching off the bed.

She’s felt his eyes on her, watching her, this whole time, but he starts trailing wet kisses along her jaw before finally returning to her lips. Everything feels lovely and hazy, like she has liquid honey running through her veins, and the kiss is wet and messy, teeth clacking against each and tongues winding together.

Vax shifts his hand, sliding a single finger into her as he presses his thumb to her clit. The sensation makes Keyleth gasp as she takes in a sharp breath, throwing her head back against the pillow. Vax’s lips land on her throat, where he nips at the skin and soothes her with his tongue.

Another finger slowly slides into her, and while he doesn’t stop, Vax slows down his rhythm for a moment. “Are you okay?” he asks her, his voice low and rough.

Her nod in response is frantic. She grasps at his shoulders, his hair, his arms, desperately looking for something to hold onto, moving her hips against his hand with mounting need. “Please,” she whimpers. Vax places another kiss, into the hollow of her throat, as he begins thrusting his fingers into her again. She starts to move her hips against him, dragging her clit under his thumb with more pressure, trying to get his fingers to go deeper, and she nearly startles herself with the loud moan she lets loose, almost a keening sound. Her nightgown is sticking to her sweaty skin, the material rasping against her nipples, sending shocks of pleasure down to where Vax’s fingers fill her.

Keyleth wonders if he knows what he’s doing to her, exactly how good he’s making her feel. She wants him to know, to know that she’s never felt anything like this, that he the only one to ever to do this to her, to ever make her feel like this. She tries to push the words out, but all she can manage is. “So good… Vax…I…”

She clenches her shaking fingers into his hair, the feeling of his breath against her skin as he whispers to her making her shiver. “I’ve got you,” he tells her, his breath coming almost as heavy as hers. “It’s all right. I’ve got you. Come on.”

Every muscle in her body seems to stiffen as the beautiful pressure inside of her explodes, starting where Vax’s fingers are still working her and spreading throughout her entire body. Her back arches, bringing her into contact with his firm chest, her sensitive skin responding to the feeling even through the thin barrier of her nightgown. She can feel her body squeezing around his fingers in pulses, her clit throbbing as he continues to lave it with attention.

It’s like nothing she’s ever felt before, like fire is running through her veins, like Vax has been somehow able to touch every single nerve inside of her. She can hear herself whimpering and mewling as the feelings subside, leaving her sinking into the mattress beneath her like her bones are made of jelly.

She opens her eyes, just a bit, as Vax pulls his fingers from her body, watching him as he runs her wetness over his lips before taking his fingers into his mouth, sucking them clean. Keyleth groans, a pang of want going through her at the sight.

He moves forward, kissing her with hungry need. Keyleth’s body is exhausted, but her heart is pounding, her chest filling with a feeling of such warm affection and love for Vax. She wants to give him something. She wants to make him feel as good as he just made her feel.

She deepens the kiss, grasping at his hips with her hands and pulling him closer, between her thighs. His hips move against her, just once, when she bites at his lip, and she can feel how hard he is, how much he wants her, and it send a thrill through her body. Her fingers start working at the laces holding his pants closed. Vax pulls his lips away from hers abruptly. “Keyleth…”

“Shh…” she presses her lips to his again, sliding one of her feet along his leg and up his thigh, loosening the laces enough that she can fit her hand inside, wrapping her fingers around him, long, warm, and hot in her hand. She strokes him, delighting in the fierce groan that she feels reverberate against her lips.

Keyleth moves her hand to stroke him again when Vax pulls away.

“You don’t have to do this,” he says, his breathing labored. “I don’t expect-”

“I want to,” she cuts him off. “I want to make you feel good.”

“You do. You always do. Just by being you. You don’t have to do this to make me feel good.”

“I want to try it this way,” she responds, circling her thumb around the tip before tightening her grip as she begins to stroke him again, back and forth. “I want to.”

Vax groans, deep and raspy, his forehead falling to her shoulder as he starts to thrust into her hand, his strokes long and slow, and she mirrors his rhythm, trying to listen to the sounds he’s making to guide her.

His heavy weight on top of her, the feeling of his body sliding against hers as he moves, his length sliding through her hand, and the muffled sound of his moans combine to fill her with a heady feeling, and she lets out her own moan, turning her head to drop a kiss on his neck.

Keyleth tangles her hand into Vax’s hair and pulls his head back so that she can press her lips to his. It’s another messy kiss, his breath huffing out over her lips. When he pulls away from her she sees his face, lost in the rapture of pleasure. Her heart starts to pound fast against her ribs at the sight, a look she’s never seen before on anyone’s face, and the knowledge that this is Vax and she’s the one putting it there makes her heart hammer even harder. She realizes how close she is to him right now, and she suddenly feels like she might burst from everything she feels for him.

She trails her hand down the side of his face to gently cup his cheek. “I love you,” she whispers, her voice hoarse and filled with something like wonder. His eye open, with come effort, and he looks down at her, into her eyes. He moves his hand up from where it’s braces under her shoulder to stroke at her hair.

“I love you,” he responds, his voice full of feeling, even with as breathy and labored as it is. Hearing those words and that love in his voice sends something of a surge through her that makes her hand squeeze him a bit tighter. A deep groan finds its way out of his throat as his eyes fall closed once again, his forehead falling to rest against hers. “Keyleth,” he rasps out. “Kiki…”

His hips continue to thrust into her hand at a slow, steady pace, almost as though he’s fighting against moving faster, worried that he might overwhelm her. He has no idea what’s going on inside of her, everything she’s feeling, and how overwhelmed, in a good way, she already is.

“Does it feel good?” Keyleth asks, her voice breathy and needy, desperate to hear him say it. “Tell me.”

“Yes. Gods, yes. Yes, yes, yes…” One of his hands slides into her hair, tangling his fingers into the strands and tugging. She’s a little surprised to find how much she likes the feeling of him pulling against her scalp, the breath of his affirmations drifting over the skin of her face to intensify the sensation.

Her strokes remain steady, from base to tip and back, over and over, taking a moment here and there to divert from the rhythm to swipe her thumb over the head, or to lightly trail her nails up his length, trying to find things that he likes. She’s somewhat amazed by the way it seems like she’s incapable of doing anything wrong in this situation, that every stroke, every touch seems to make him gasp out in pleasure.

Vax’s pants start to turn into long, desperate moans, and he shift to bury his face against her neck, muffling the sound, his hot breath hitting her skin. His hips pick up speed as he thrusts into her hand as he turns his head slightly, repeating her name into her ear with a moaning whisper. Those overwhelming feelings of love and affection she has for them combine with the knowledge of what she’s doing to him, what she’s making him feel, and her own head starts to go even foggier, so she only just registers it when she feels him pulsing in her hand as his body trembles and stiffens above her, a deep groan vibrating against her skin.

Vax’s breathing is heavy in her ear, and Keyleth savors the sound, swallowing hard against the overwhelming feelings swirling inside of her. He pulls back to look at her, his expression filled with something like wonder, before his gaze moves down, a guilty look taking over his face. “Shit, Kiki. I’m sorry.”

She watches as he gets out of bed, moving over to the water basin on the other side of the room, wondering what he did wrong, what he’s sorry about. Really, she isn’t sure she cares. She’s focusing on the emotions swimming inside of her, brand new and overwhelming. She bites her lip as she watches him walk back toward her, worried she might burst in to tears just from feeling so much.

It’s not until he starts wiping at her thigh with a damp cloth that she look down, realizing that he had come onto her leg, near her hip where her nightgown was pushed up. “Sorry,” Vax says again when he sees her looking at him, his expression still bashful. Keyleth wants to to tell him that she doesn’t mind, really doesn’t mind, probably couldn’t possible mind less, but she’s having a hard time getting her vocal chords to work, so she just runs her fingers through his hair, slow and soft. He closes his eyes, sighing at the sensation, and then drops the small towel to the floor, his gaze locked on her as he moves up the bed and onto his side, taking her into his arms.

He pulls her close, and Keyleth presses herself against him, burying her face in his chest. She realizes for the first time that she’s trembling just a bit, and she suddenly can’t stop the tears from welling up in her eyes. She feels so close to him right now, in a way she’s never felt with anyone. It makes her feel safer, ore cared for than she ever has in her life. Even though just hours ago they found Tiberius’s body, even though she knows they have so many fights ahead of them, she’s never felt more at peace. Being here with him, like this, being given the gift of this closeness with him, she feels loved in a way that makes everything seem brighter and more secure. It makes the tears finally fall from her eyes, and she squeezes them tightly, not wanting Vax to get the wrong idea.

“Keyleth?” he asks, pulling back and trying to raise her face to his, grasping her chin between his thumb and finger. He’s worried, she can tell that much from his expression. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

She nods, closing her eyes and trying to swallow against the lump in her throat. “I’m fine,” she says, a smile spread across her face. “I’m perfect. Everything’s perfect.”

Vax doesn’t say anything in response, wiping the tears away from one cheek with his thumb, the look on his face still concerned and uncertain.

“They’re happy tears,” she says. “I’m happy.” She takes his face between her hands and pulls him into a deep kiss, pouring everything she’s feeling into it. When the separate she finds that Vax now has tears in his eyes as well.

“I am, too,” he says, his voice thick with emotion. “I love you.”

Keyleth closes her eyes, reveling in the feeling those words give her, trying to memorize it. “I love you, too.” She moves further into the warmth of Vax’s arms, relaxing into the feeling of safety and comfort they give her. It’s been a hard day, and she knows that there’s so much more to come, but for now, in this moment, she finally feels like she got things right.


	2. Chapter 2

Keyleth takes off her circlet, placing it on the vanity in the corner of the room and rubbing at her temples with her fingers. It’s been a long day, and she feels the exhaustion start to seep into her bones and muscles. The magical transportation, traveling to Ank'Harel… her conversation with Kash…

She grimaces, feeling guilty about how that had gone down. It’s not like she’s surprised that once she finally decided to let herself be happy, the universe threw a curveball at her. She definitely could have handled it better. Now she just feels bad. The way she handled it was unfair. To Kashaw, because he deserves to know that she’s with Vax now, that there’s no chance for them to be together. And to Vax, because he deserves for her to be his, 100%, and for everyone to know it.

Her thoughts are interrupted by a quick, quiet knock on her door. “Come in,” she calls. A second later the door opens just the slightest bit and Vax slips into the room silently. He closes the door behind him and turns to look at her, a soft smile on his face, before moving toward her.

When he reaches her, he wraps his arms around her waist, leaning his chin on her shoulder and meeting her eyes in the mirror. “Hi.”

“Hi,” she replies, leaning back into his arms. They smile at their reflections for awhile, enjoying the warmth of the embrace. Vax kisses her cheek, nuzzling his nose behind her ear.

“I did something bad today,” she says, biting at her lip guiltily.

“What?” he asks, looking at her with a concerned expression.

Her eyes drop to look at the surface of the vanity, where her circlet rests next to her hairbrush and her utility belt, not wanting to look in his eyes. “Kashaw asked me out today when we were walking to the Sun Tree.”

She expects him to tense up, or to do something to indicate some sort of anger or jealousy, but his arms maintain their gentle hold around her, and when she looks back into the mirror his expression is merely curious. Keyleth realizes then that he trusts her, that he’s not upset or jealous because he knows she wouldn’t do anything that he would need to be jealous about. That knowledge leads to a warm feeling spreading through her body, and she has to fight against the smile that’s threatening to spread across her face.

“I tried to tell him that you and I are together now. That we’re happy. And, you know, turn him down,” she knows that she’s babbling, but saying it all out loud she realizes that she was even more ridiculous than she’d realized when she was just thinking about it. “But, I don’t know. I didn’t want to hurt him and I was trying to find a way to say it without doing that, but I couldn’t, so I…” she trails off, feeling stupid and silly.

“You what?” Vax asks, still looking at her curiously.

“I kind of just… shoved him through the tree.”

Vax laughs, burying his face in her shoulder to smother the noise. Keyleth frowns, her brow furrowing as she wonders if she should be offended, but then he looks back up at her, his face covered with such warm affection. “Yeah. That sounds like something you’d do.”

“You’re not mad?”

“Why would I be mad?” He looks genuinely perplexed, like it hadn’t even occurred to him to be upset, like he couldn’t imagine why anyone would be upset by what she did.

“I didn’t actually turn him down. And I didn’t tell him about us.”

He straightens up, pulling her closer, his expression changing to one of understanding. “I get it,” he says. “I haven’t told Gilmore, either.” He smiles, but it’s a guilty sort of smile, filled with an almost grim bashfulness. “I mean, I told him awhile ago that we couldn’t continue the… thing we had, because I was in love with someone else. But I didn’t tell him it was you. And I could have told him today that we’re together. I should have, so that he doesn’t find out some other way. But I didn’t. Because I didn’t want to hurt him. Especially considering how much he’s done for us.” He takes a deep breath, letting it out in a quick huff. “It’s… hard.”

“Yeah,” she replies quietly. “It is.”

He smiles at her, gazing at her reflection, before turning his head to press a kiss to the spot where her neck and shoulder meet. Keyleth sighs, her eyelids drooping, so he does it again and again, leaving a trail of kisses up her neck.

She turns in his arms, resting her head on his chest, her ear against his heartbeat, letting the sound soothe her. Vax runs his fingers through her hair, and the sensation lulls her into a sleepy state.

“Tired?” he asks, his voice little more than a whisper.

“Mmhmm,” she confirms, burrowing into him, enjoying the warmth of his arms around her.

They stay that way for a long time, reveling in the feeling of finally being able to be together like this, in being able to have the time to just stand together, quietly holding each other, even just for a little while.

“Help me with my armor?” Keyleth eventually asks, turning so that Vax can reach the laces at the back of her bodice. She feels him step close behind her as he gathers up her hair, sweeping it over her shoulder. His fingers trail lightly between her shoulders as he moves down to start working on the laces, and her nerves jump to attention, goosebumps forming on her skin and her heart speeding up.

His fingers work slowly, revealing the skin beneath the leather. She can still feel him behind her even after he’s finished, his eyes on the pale skin of her back, and she shivers when his fingers run down her spine, from the base of the neck to the small of her back, punctuating it with a lingering kiss between her shoulder blades.

He remains behind her for another moment, his hands on her hips, before he moves away. Keyleth’s breath is coming faster now, hard, heavy, and loud in her ears. She turns to watch Vax, who’s sitting on the edge of the bed, kicking off his boots. He had taken his armor off before coming to her room, so all he has to do is remove his shirt. She watches him, her eyes following the lean muscles of his body as he pulls the shirt over his head, tossing it to the side.

She’s not so tired anymore.

Her arms are still holding her loose bodice up, covering her breasts. She keeps it there, sauntering over to to stand in front of Vax. His eyes travel up her body, even though with the armor gaping around her there’s not much to see. He must notice something in her eyes, because when he reaches her face his mouth goes slack, his eyes clouding over a bit.

“Hi,” Keyleth says, surprised by how breathy her voice is.

“Hi,” Vax responds, almost dumbly, his eyes falling to where her hands are still holding her bodice up.

She watches his eyes sweep over her collar bone, the hollow of her throat, the skin of her chest leading down to her breasts, can almost feel it, as though his fingers were touching her. Her arms start to lower the bodice, slowly at first before dropping to her sides, the armor falling to the floor.

His eyes caress the revealed skin, moving over her breasts and down her stomach, and he swallows visibly. “I thought you were tired,” he says, his voice almost weak.

“I’m not anymore,” Keyleth responds, moving one of her hands to rest on his shoulder, the other coming up to stroke at his cheek. She steps close to him, and he reaches up to grasp at her sides, pulling her in to run his lips along her stomach, breathing her in. He pulls back, his eyes focusing on her breasts, on the smooth slope of her curves, and she realizes that this is the first time he’s seen her. Despite everything they had done the night before, and the way it made her blush when she thought about it throughout the day, they hadn’t even taken their clothes off. She’s struck with the sudden realization that she wants to see him. All of him. Badly.

Vax runs his hands down her sides and over her hips, unclasping the pin holding her skirt together. It unwraps and falls from her hips, leaving her in just the garments she wears beneath to shield her from the cold. He tucks his fingers beneath them, looking up at her with a questioning expression.

Keyleth strokes at his cheek again, nodding her consent. He nuzzles into her hand for a moment before turning his attention back to her body, pushing the garments slowly down her legs, his fingers leaving streaks of electricity behind on her skin. She continues to watch him as he sucks in a breath, moving his eyes over her fully revealed body. His hands move back up to her waist, and he pulls her down into his lap. Her legs open, straddling his hips, and she slides forward, kissing him as she rolls her hips against his, feeling him hot and hard even through his pants.

Unlike the night before, Keyleth knows exactly what she wants now. Experiencing that closeness with him made any doubts she had evaporate, and now she’s certain.

“Vax,” she whispers, looking into his eyes. “I want you to make love to me.”

His hands cup her face with the lightest hold, like she’s made of something precious. “Are you sure?”

“I’m positive.”

Vax smiles at her, warm and affectionate, and then kisses her again. One of his arms tightens around her, holding her close to him as he rises, placing his knee on the bed and pivoting, pressing her into the mattress beneath him. He thrusts his hips against her, and the friction makes her moan into the kiss, long and needy. She reaches down, her fingers frantic, trying to undo the laces of his pants, but his hand closes over hers and pulls it away, lacing their fingers together as he pins it gently to the bed next to her head. “Let me take care of you,” he says in a whisper that sends shivers down her spine.

He slides his fingers out from between hers, running them down her arm with a feather light touch. He moves down over her shoulder, gliding over one side of her collar bone, then the other, before shifting his touch to her breast, fingers brushing over her nipple teasingly.

The sensation of his touch, so frustratingly light, has her breath coming fast and hard, and she’s on the verge of begging when Vax finally lowers his mouth, taking a nipple between his teeth and biting with just the slightest pressure. Keyleth lets out a long, keening moan as she bucks her hips against him. He groans at the contact, his lips opening to suck at her as his hand moves firmly against her other breast.

She can’t control the way her hips are moving, fast and hard against Vax as her body seeks friction and relief. Her fingers tangle into his hair, whimpering at the feeling of his tongue flicking at her nipple. His hand is resting close to her head, bracing him over her, and her own hand flails up grasping at his blindly, turning her head to press her lips to the outside of his thumb.

Vax’s lips slide down the underside of her breast, moving to press light kisses down the center of her stomach. His hand slides out from under hers as he continues down her body, running down her side and then up her thigh, pushing lightly to make room so he can position himself between her legs. Keyleth’s eyes slide open with a small amount of effort to see Vax, his face framed by her thighs, gazing at her as one of his hands strokes at her hip. It takes her breath away.

“Is this okay?” he asks.

“It’s more than okay,” she responds, arching toward him.

“Promise you’ll tell me if I do something you don’t like,” he says as he begins to lower his head.

“I promise,” she says, stroking her hand through his hair and resisting the urge to push him down. She can’t imagine him doing anything she wouldn’t like right now, but his expression is so sincere and slightly worried, so she further reassures him with a definitive nod.

The way he grins at her before burying his face between her thighs is so sexy that she’s certain it intensifies the sensation when he runs his tongue over her slowly. It feels similar to the way his fingers had worked over her the night before, but somehow completely different. His breath is hot against her wetness, and his tongue even hotter. The heat at her center almost feels like the heat she feels in her fingers when makes fire with her hands, but so much better, that sensation of heat combining with the incredible pleasure of the wet pressure of Vax’s mouth.

The now familiar feeling of his fingers entering her distracts her from the thought, curling inside of her as he thrusts them with a slow determination. He body squeezes at them, tightening almost desperately as her breath leaves her with a loud rush.

She doesn’t want to close her eyes, she wants to keep watching him, fascinated by the sight of him buried between her thighs, but it feels so good, so amazing that she can’t help but slide into nothing more than feeling, her eyes dropping shut as she tangles her other hand in his hair, letting out a low moan that makes her whole body vibrate.

Vax has focused his tongue on that bundle of nerves that makes her body quiver and her mind go hazy, circling it with slow, deliberate movements, swiping at it with every rotation. Keyleth’s hips start circling along with him of their own volition, chasing that incredible feeling. His free hand glides up her thigh, stroking her skin and grasping at her hip, using just enough pressure to hold her still as he begins to run his tongue directly over her clit, over and over, with languid, unhurried caresses. It feels so much better, more intense without her hips moving, but she’s still experiencing that desperate need to move, arching her back, letting out a series of loud, urgent whimpers as the pleasurable pressure builds inside of her, her body begging for release.

She feels like a piece of elastic pulled tight, and all it takes for her to fall apart is a deep thrust of his fingers as he grazes her with his teeth. A stray thought about how well he already knows her body gets lost in the waves of sensation, of pure, intense bliss.

When she finally comes back to herself she opens her eyes to see Vax still sitting between her legs, his hand running over her stomach in lazy, absentminded  circles, watching her with open affection and something resembling awe. “I love you, Kiki.”

Those words make a happy warmth spread through her chest. She runs a hand through his hair, smoothing it down where her fingers had tangled it. “I love you, too.”

Vax moves, stretching his body over hers, coming to rest between her legs. “Are you okay?”

“Oh, I’m better than okay,” Keyleth replies, her voice raspy and low. He chuckles, but looks at her with a hint of concern. She brings her hands around to hold his face between them, keeping her gaze steady on his. “I want you to make love to me, Vax.”

He smiles widely at her, a relieved breath leaving him as he leans in to kiss her. It’s deep and slow, the rhythm of their mouths meeting, their tongues sliding against each other in a way that makes her body, relaxed and satiated, achey with need once again. She reaches down to unlace his trousers, and this time he doesn’t stop her. But when she reaches a hand inside, eager to feel him the way she did the night before, his hand grasps her wrist once again. “I, uh…” he says, a winded, almost embarrassed laugh escaping, “I don’t think I can… I don’t think we have time for that.”

She looks at him, trying to figure out what he means. “Time? Vax, we have-”

He looks at her with a pointedly raised eyebrow, but it’s the look of desperation lurking beneath it that clues her in to what he means. “Oh,” she giggles. “Right.”

Not wanting to be even an inch away from Vax, she moves with him when he stands to push the last of the his clothing off, her hands in his hair and her lips on his neck as she kneels on the bed in front of him. His hands come up to stroke at her back once he’s finished, and she pulls back too look at him, _all_ of him, finally. Her eyes sweep over his body, her hands following, tracing over scars, ones she remembers him getting, ones she’s never seen before. Her fingertips trail over his ribs, his abs. They grasp at his hips for a brief moment before running down the v-shaped path leading to where he’s hot and hard, waiting for her.

Keyleth raises her head, wanting to tell Vax how beautiful he is, but his lips collide with hers, needy and desperate, as he moves forward to kneel on the bed, pulling her in to straddle him. She gasps into his mouth as her wetness slides against him. Her lips break away from his as she throws her head back, groaning at the feeling of that part of him touching her sensitive, aching skin.

“Kiki,” Vax whispers, his voice shaking as he slides a gentle hand into her hair. She looks down at him, her heart racing. “Promise me,” he says again. “Promise me you’ll tell me if I do something you don’t like or if you want to stop.”

“Vax,” she responds with a breathy laugh. “I’m not going to want to stop.”

“Promise me,” he repeats. His expression holds something scared and worried, like he feels guilty for something he hasn’t done yet.

“Vax,” Keyleth whispers again in an almost consoling tone. “I promise. But I’m not doing anything I don’t want to do. I love you, Vax. I want you. I want this.”

His expression relaxes as she strokes her fingers across his cheek. He turns his head, pressing his lips to her finger tips before leaning his forehead against hers. “Okay?”

“Okay,” she replies.

Vax’s hand go to her hips, helping her rise up and then move back down, lowering herself on to him with a careful pace. Her breath catches when she feels him entering her, the feeling strange and different but not unpleasant.

“Are you alright?” he manages to say, his breathing labored and his fingers squeezing into her hips.

She nods as she sinks down further, the not-unpleasant feeling quickly turning into a fan-fucking-tastic feeling. Her hips settle against his and she moans, deep in her throat, her forehead still pressed against his.

“Good?” Vax grunts out at the tail end of his own moan.

“Very good. So, _so_ good.” She rolls her hips with a slow, deliberate movement, squeezing her muscles around him experimentally.

His head falls back as he groans. “Fuck, Keyleth.”

Her eyes land on his neck, arched and exposed, and she can’t help the way her lips are drawn to it, her tongue coming out to lick up to his chin before kissing a line of kisses back down as she starts to move in a slow, tentative rhythm.

She can feels his hands trembling where they’re still grasping her hips in a tight, fierce grip, but he’s still helping to guide her movements, her speed building just a bit.

“Vax,” she gasps, her hands sliding into his hair to pull his face back to hers, kissing him. “Is this okay? Am I doing it right?”

He huffs out a laugh, the tightness of his hands loosening. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re doing it right.”

She giggles, a little bashful. “I mean, am I doing it right for you?” She shifts her hips, changing the angle. “Do you like it?” she whispers into his ear.

He’s not laughing anymore. “Yeah,” he says, swallowing down a moan. “Yes. Fuck, yes.”

“Good,” she says, not even trying to fight the smile on her face.

“I…” Vax lets out a heavy breath, trying to focus. “I want it to be good for you, too.”

“It is,” she sighs, feeling the goosebumps that spring up on his skin from the way her breath hits him under her lips. “So good…”

Her movements become more confident then and Vax starts moving with her, catching on to her rhythm as he thrusts up into her. It makes Keyleth cry out, her forehead falling to his shoulder as her fingers clench in his hair.

Once they find their slow, steady rhythm, Vax’s hands move from her hips, running up her ribs before one circles around to her back, pulling her closer, the other palming her breast and squeezing lightly.

Keyleth’s pants start to come out as short, breathy moans, and she turns her head into Vax’s neck, her tongue coming out to lave at the tendon there. It makes him thrust into her harder as a growl escapes him, both of his arms wrapping around her back to pull her even closer. The feeling of him pushing so deep inside of her forces a keening moan out of Keyleth’s throat as her overheated skin starts to feel like there’s fire underneath it, like she might burst into flames. Her hips are moving faster now, trying to urge Vax’s on beneath her, but he’s resistant, his hands running up her back and over shoulders, into her hair. He tugs gently, pulling her head back so he can look at her face. Her eyes are closed, her mouth hanging up, little mewling cries escaping her with every thrust. “Keyleth,” he whispers, trying to control his breathing.

“Vax,” she whimpers, her voice desperate.

“Keyleth,” Vax says again, his hands grasping her face firmly. Her eyes slide open slowly, looking down at him. He strokes her cheeks with his thumbs, his touch firm, trying to bring her back to herself, just a bit.

She sees the look on his face, feels the intention in his touch, and she focuses on him, the best she can.

“Are you okay?” he asks, the stroking movements of his thumbs becoming softer.

Keyleth looks into his eyes, trying to stay clear-eyed in this moment despite the fact that their bodies are still moving together and the pleasure in her body is building to almost unbearable heights. She nods, then leans her forehead against his once again. “I’m perfect,” she says, her hands coming up, touching his chin with her fingertips. “Everything’s perfect. I love you.”

The breath he lets out sounds relieved. “I love you, too.” His arms wrap back around her, pulling her into him as he flattens his palms against her back.

Soon, their hips are moving together faster and the moans escaping them are desperate, their bodies aching for release.

“Vax,” Keyleth moans, the sound coming out almost as a whine. “I… I need…”

He doesn’t need to hear any more, his lips sucking at her throat as his hand moves around her, his fingers gliding around the skin of her ribs, then down her stomach before his fingers press firmly against her clit as he pushes deeper into her.

The cry that comes out as her hips buck against his sounds almost song like. Another follows, this time a sobbing cry, as her back arches, so deep the ends of her hair brush against his knees. A part of her mind is aware that were it not for Vax’s hands supporting her at the small of her back she’d probably fall over, but then that floats away on a wave of bright, blinding pleasure with the rest of her thoughts. She pitches forward then, her arms wrapping around his shoulders tightly. She can feel her muscles pulsing against his length, still moving inside of her, squeezing at him, and she feels him stiffen, then shudder as his hips thrust up hard into her, hearing her name on his lips through the sounds of her own whimpering moans.

Keyleth slumps into his embrace, her arms resting loosely over his shoulders, her face buried against his neck. She’s not sure how long they sit there like that, their bodies leaning together limply. It could be minutes, or hours, but eventually she feels Vax’s arms tighten around her, pulling her close, and then she’s moving backward, Vax coming to rest next to her, half on top of her, holding himself over her, where she’s lying on her back.

She becomes aware of the sensation of his fingers gliding up and down the skin of her stomach, from sternum to belly button and back, barely-there touches that help to bring her back into the moment. Her eyes open, a small smile spreading across her face, and she sees Vax over her, a sleepy, satisfied, but slightly apprehensive look on his face. “Hey,” he whispers, as though he’s worried he’ll startle her.

“Hey,” she echoes, her hand sliding up his arm, over his shoulder, and into his hair.

“How’re you doing?” he asks, his voice matching his expression.

“Mmm,” Keyleth hums, her smile growing, stretching over her face until it’s a wide grin. Vax’s smile grows to match hers and the worried expression relaxes into something happier and freer.

He lowers himself, laying on his side with an arm draped across her. She rolls to face him, wrapping an arm around his middle, pulling herself into him and holding on tightly.

As close as she felt to him last night, it’s nothing compared to how close she feels to him now. She presses herself against him, trying to get her body as close to him as she feels in her heart. Vax’s arms tighten around her in response as he breathes in deeply, pressing a kiss into her hair.

She loves him so much, and the elation she gets from it makes her feel almost like she’s drunk or high.

But that feeling starts to morph to fear, that dark, self-sabotaging part of her brain whispering to her, telling her that it won’t last. That she’s going to lose him. Whether it’s in 100 years, or when they fight Thordak, or in a few days when they fight Vorugal, or tomorrow, some mistake in the streets of Ank'Harel leading to tragedy, she’s going to lose him, and the pain will be unbearable. How stupid could she be, letting herself have this when she knows how badly it’s going to hurt later?

Keyleth swallows hard, squeezing her eyes shut and turning her head, pressing her ear against Vax’s heartbeat. It’s strong and steady, the constant rhythm calming her as she remembers what her father said to her in Pyrah, the things Pike said before they left for the Feywild.

_It’s worth it_ , she tells herself, focusing on the sound of Vax’s heart beating, the feeling of his arms, strong and firm around her, and the heat pouring from his skin, reminding her that he’s alive.

_Everyone suffers loss. Everyone has pain. To allow yourself happiness when you know that it will hurt later is brave_ , she reminds herself, counting the heart beats and tapping them out against his chest with her finger.

Finally calm, Keyleth pulls back to look at him. His eyes are closed, but they open slowly gazing at her with a lazy smile on his face.

“I want to tell you something, but it’s kind of hard for me, so can you just listen?” she asks, biting her lip nervously. “It’s not bad,” she rushes to reassure him, seeing the worried look that accompanies his nod.

“I know you know that I’ve been… scared. Of this. Well, not really this. Losing this. Because no matter how the rest of our lives unfold, that will happen. There’s no way around that.”

Vax’s hand runs down her arm, a comforting and encouraging touch, but he remains silent, letting her continue.

“But I’m done with that now. I mean, I’m not done being scared. I know that’s not something that I’ll probably ever be able to push away completely. But I’m done letting it control me. I’ve spent most of my life letting fear lead me around and that’s not going to happen anymore.”

Keyleth leans in, pressing her lips to Vax’s, her hands running up his chest. His mouth leaves hers, moving to nip at her earlobe before pressing a line of kisses down the side of her neck. She lets out a dreamy sigh as he pulls back to look at her.

“I want this,” she says, breathless. Vax’s smirks, his eyebrows going up, and Keyleth realizes how it sounded, her eyes going wide as she feels her face flush. “I mean, not this,” she stammers. “Well, yes, this, but everything else, too. All of it.”

She feels embarrassed, squeezing her eyes closed and cringing when she hears him chuckle. But the feeling of hand against her cheek, his palm touching her with a light, almost reverent caress has her eyes drifting open to see Vax, his eyes warm and loving. It makes her heart beat faster, her eyes prickling with tears. “I just don’t want you to worry. That I don’t want this. That there’s anything with you that I don’t want. Because I want everything with you. Everything we can have. For however long we can have it. I don’t want to waste anymore time.”

His gaze is steady, his fingers still stroking against her cheek, but he remains silent. “I mean,” Keyleth starts to stammer, suddenly unsure. “If that’s what you want.”

“All I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy.”

“You make me happy,” she responds without hesitation.

“Then I’m happy.”

“Vax-”

“ _You_ make _me_ happy,” he stops her, a comforting hand running up her back. “Just being lucky enough to be granted _any_ time with you would make me happy. Just to be in your presence. But to be lucky enough to have _this_ …” he trails off with a disbelieving laugh, looking at her with adoring eyes.

“I know,” she says, leaning in, brushing her nose against his. “Me too.”

They smile at each other for several long moments, they rest of the world warm and hazy around them. Keyleth reaches down, pulling a blanket over them as she curls herself back into Vax’s arms, placing a kiss on his chest over his heartbeat.

“Sleep,” Vax whispers, his lips moving against her forehead. “Ank'Harel is a big city. We’ve got a long day ahead of us.”

“I love you, Vax,” she says, her voice slow and quiet as she drifts of to sleep.

“I love you, too,” he replies, pressing a kiss into her hair, tightening his arms around her as he follows Keyleth in to sleep.


End file.
